The Reason He Left
by Jodie Antonia
Summary: Logan left in the middle of the night. So now he will never know the consequences of his actions. Written from Rogues Point of View. Hope You Enjoy. Just a short one - shot. Wrote it 5 years ago thought it was time to upload it.


The Reason He Left

I waited. 3 minutes the box said. I waited. It was agonising. It felt like hours but when the time came to look, I couldn't bring myself to do it. If this said what I thought it did my life was over. Finished. Eventually I found the courage to see. I closed my eyes and held my breath as I picked it up. As slow as I could I opened my eyes. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust but that didn't stop me from seeing the result.

Positive.

I fell to the floor and sobs took over my body. I couldn't move. Couldn't see. Couldn't breathe. I lay there for a long time just soaking in my own tears. Even they seemed to be going in slow motion. Like hunny rolling down my face, sickeningly sweet. I heard knocking at my door but I couldn't bring myself to open it. I just laid there in my Pyjamas feeling sorry for myself.

It felt like forever before my tears dried up. I felt exhausted and just wanted to crawl back into bed and hide from the world. But I knew I had to act as if this had never happened. I had to paint on a smile and play my character behind my mask of pain. Once I calmed down I had to think of a plan. I knew I couldn't keep it. There was no way. I couldn't keep it. I knew I had to get rid of it. I had to! I could book an appointment after school. Abortion – it was the only option.

If only I hadn't been so stupid. So irresponsible and…slutty! I slept with him. Gave him my virginity and yet where is he now? Gone. He's Gone. After what happened he left. I loved him. And he left. I loved him. Or at least I thought I did. He saved me, more than once. He was my hero. My knight in shining armour. It didn't matters to me that he was in love with Miss Grey. She's gone now. But even when she was here I didn't care. I loved him regardless. More than he will ever know.

How did this even happen?! One minute I'm nothing but a 'kid' to him and the next he's all over me. As much as I enjoyed it and wanted it, I can't help but wonder what happened. To me it was a celebration of being able to control my power. My first experience of touching another human. For me it was amazing…what was it to him?

_I froze in the middle of my drawing. I wasn't sure but I thought I heard…there it was again; a small knocking on the door. It was so soft that at first I thought it was further down the hall but no it carried on and I realised it must be my door. I jumped up surprised. No one ever visited me. _

_I opened the door slightly once I saw Logan stood there, I opened it fully. I could tell instantly that he had been drinking. I could almost feel it radiating off him. But he looked completely sober. I knew by now drinking didn't intoxicate him as easily as a normal man. But why was he here?_

"_Logan, what-" _

"_Shhh, little one." he mumbled before pushing me backward into the room before following through and shutting the door quietly. Logan looked at me almost appraisingly before switching the light off. As the curtains were still open I could just about make out his figure in the moonlight. But being 1am it was too dark to see anything else. But I knew with his increased scene of sight he could see me perfectly. _

_My confusing slowly turned to panic. Logan had never hurt me before but I'd read a lot in magazines about how alcohol can change a person. I never thought that would happen to my Logan but as he stepped closer and closer I began to wonder. _

_He closed the short distance easily with his large strides. His hands went to my hips and I looked up at him. His frame towered over mine easily and he had to lean down to place a small kiss on my lips. _

"_Marie, My Marie…" He said my name as if it was the most precious thing in the world. It made my knees weak – I used to scoff at that saying when I read it but suddenly I became that giggling girl from my romance novel. His breath tickled me and I felt shocks go through my body. My hero finally wanted me and oh I was going to give myself to him. _

_He bent down to kiss me again but this time it wasn't small. Would this be everything I dreamt? I sure hoped so. It didn't start off soft like in the movies but hard and strong. Powerful. He dominated my mouth in seconds and I let him. This was alpha Logan – The Animal. _

_His hands began roaming up and down my body sending electricity through me. I moaned in the back of my throat which I guess he took as encouragement because his lips left mine to trail down my jaw and to my neck which was a very sensitive part of me apparently._

_I didn't know what to do. Where should I put my hands? I'd never gotten this close to any one before let alone a person of the opposite sex. I've never touched a boy. But Logan…Logan was a man. _

_He gently pushed me towards my bed and the rest is history. I woke the next day to find not only had he left my room but he had packed all his things and left the entire mansion. _

I cried that day. And for the first time in a while I screamed into my pillow. I wept for loss of innocents. My own loss of innocence. I spent the better part of my day in the shower trying to scrub the memory of him off me – but it was still there. I thought that was the worse day of my life – until today.

I have a feeling professor knows. He always knows. He knew about that night im sure. An now it was only a matter of time before he realised what the consequences were. Oh God. Will he kick me out? That thought brought a new wave of tears over me. They were so consistent that I wondered if I cried enough I could cry and river and drown myself in it. That would be the best solution.

I cleaned myself up and hid all evidence of my tears from my face. Once again I thanked the lord that I had my own room. I covered myself with make up to hide my pale face and blotchy eyes. I looked into the bathroom mirror and hated everything, hated myself.

I knew I had to make some sort of appearance down stairs. Everyone was already walking on egg shells since he left. It's not that they knew about that night but they thought I was upset over him leaving. He was my mentor, my friend and now the father to my unborn child.

There was a knock on the door and I froze. I wasn't ready to face anyone yet.

"Rogue?" a deep male voice said through the door. "I know you're in there. I brought something for you."

I bit my lip and then walked to the door taking a deep breath. I opened it and found john stood there with his arms full of snacks. He had a bright smile on his face and I knew he wouldn't take no for an answer. So I let him in. Both into the room and into my heart. It was good to talk to someone about it. He held onto my hand and I knew I was going to be okay.


End file.
